Food For Thought: Sex & Spirituality – Views On The @EssenceMag “Single, Sexy & Saved” Article
(I apologize in advanced for the length , but it had to be talked about)
Um yes. You read that title correctly. I was recently drawn to this article written by Charreah K. Jackson in the March 2013 edition of Essence Magazine by a small but noticeable title on the cover that read “Yes, You can be sexy & saved” . Naturally my eyes grew big and I said to myself ..waymin(wait a minute). I feverishly flipped to the contents located the article and started to read; And this ladies and gentlemen are my thoughts…
The article began with a scenario that many God fearing women dread- you know, falling for someone that isn’t quite as spiritual or religious as themselves. Yes, ladies let’s admit it… we love bad boys that do good things. Fact. So we’re over that right? I’ll continue. I stopped after the first paragraph and skimmed over the bolded headings of ”know what you want” , “expand your options”, “make a spiritual connection”, “embrace your sexuality” ….WOAH. I stopped zeroed in on the section and said to myself …oh this is going to be good. Now I wont divulge the entire contents of the article because I want YOU to go read it for yourself. My synopsis won’t do the glossy pages of this article any justice; But I do want do discuss the major point of it all- Sex & Spirituality .
Celibacy & Sexuality
Believe it or not but there are couples … BLACK couples… who are practicing celibacy before marriage. An example relationship from the article states that because of their celibacy their jealousy issues lack, they’re secure in their relationship, and their bond was stronger than previous relationships where premarital relations were had. Say what now? *cues I’m looking For Her by Future track*
What I loved about this article is that it recognized that as much shame as it may bring to us to admit, abstinence in a monogamous relationship isn’t a popular practice (hell a non monogamous one for that matter). It suggested that women embrace their sexuality and their sanctification. Translation… Dont be a hoe out here promiscuous woman but don’t pretend to be holier than thou either; Because at the end of the day people are sexual, plain and simple. My personal confession is I constantly find myself struggling with sexual thoughts as a single and celibate woman who is very in tune with her spirituality; Because of this I sometimes feel shameful, when it really shouldn’t be that way.
Sex is Serious- No, Seriously
The article also brings up a great point noting that Women in the bible vs Women in 2013 are complete polar opposites of each other. Your virginity was thought of as a prize that came along with the property in those days. Property in that sentence being synonymous with the word woman. In 2013 we are no longer property but human beings . I’m not saying pre-martial sex is okay , but God warns us of the dangers of it for a reason! The emotional and spiritual attachments that come from sex with someone whom you are not monogamous (even then) or married to can cloud judgement and lead you into a spiral where you don’t even recognize yourself. Further, if you are void from the spiritual and emotional attatchments that come along with sex… then, my girl/myboy, you are just all messed up (not feeling is dangerous ask a congenital analgesia).
For me marriage is a union and sex in the sanctity of that union is “safer” than sex in relationships that have not reached that level of commitment just yet (probably why God intends for sex to be between the institution of husband & wife). How can you truly unite with someone when you don’t know, love, or respect yourself? Shouldn’t the same specifications be put on wether you’re ready to have sex with someone? Ok I know… chile, you have your life all.the.way together. You’re refuting me saying I know who I am , I love myself, etcetera etcetera. BUT I ask how could you, if you’re sharing yourself with every Tom, Harry and Dick (Shelia, Emily, & Virginia)? I’m not a saint but I know the journey to self love isn’t traveled through sheets.
Now I know some men are reading this and saying “This some bulls^*&” .. but no really… Food For Thought: Guys, you are giving a woman a piece of your spirit. You are taking a piece of her’s as well-that you both will never get back; There is a possibility that this woman could have your child based off your decision to have sex with her. Now if you’re okay with the possibility of that woman having your child and/or getting out of character ( going crazy -i guess to you) because she feels connected to you..then more power to you!
Conclusion
In the moment it’s hard to think about these things, but that’s were affirming your beliefs prior to your bush comes in handy. If you ever find yourself in the bush know that a ram will provided. Build your faith to trust and believe that love is possible without sex. Enough of me though, I want to know your thoughts! We’re opening up the comments …and you have the floor. Say whatever you want! Savagely Yours is sincere and we want you to be too.
